3.30.2002

Rebellion, again. (This isn't directed to anyone in particular, just something about human nature I want to bitch about.)

The world isn't fair. I can grasp that. You can't have everything you want. Nevertheless, what's wrong with the world being as fair as you can make it? What's wrong with having everything, within reason? And why keep telling me the world's not fair, and I can't have everything I want? Is it just something to say? Is it just something to say to let you justify being unfair, not letting me get for myself what I want? Is it somehow supposed to comefort me?

If the world isn't fair, and you can't have everything you want, doesn't that mean that I don't have to be fair and I don't have to give you what you want? Even if we love each other? If you don't have to apologize if you didn't mean to hurt me, doesn't that mean I don't have to apologize because I just don't have time to care? If your love makes you do cruel things to me in the name of that love, doesn't that mean I can hate you? Doesn't it mean that I don't have to understand?

What's wrong with letting each other know you have doubts? That what you're doing is the right thing, but that it's the best you can come up with? That you do what you do not from love, not "for your own good," but from fear that things will get out of control? What's wrong with an honorable compromise? What's wrong with admitting you're in pain? I don't think most people actually want to be assholes. We just don't know how to stop justifying ourself and apologize, even if we don't think we're wrong.

Most people.

I can't stand that bitch.