Review: 300

Watching the movie 300 with nothing but an electronica sountrack for assistance, I have come to the conclusion that this is a movie about nipples. For instance, the main guy with the nipples kicked the foreign buggers in that pit because they were too proud to show theirs. And the evil guys in the white robes cast a magical spell over the nipple woman because leprosy had destroyed theirs. The whole slow/stop/go time thingy is obviously a cinematic representation of the secret dimension, previously known only to mystics, physicists, and obscure cheese-lovers as N-space. And we all know what that means.