The sensitive lover. So (and all underage readers may here avert your eyes), Good Saturday I was happily contemplating a lotta hot sex and a little gumbo when I get this call. "Honey? Do you miiiiind if I bring Joe over?" "You were still planning to get laid, right?" "Yeah..." "Well, bring him over," I say. Click. Meanwhile I start cursing and trying to figure out how to double the quantity of the meal halfway though preparation without loading up a five-month-old to go out to the grocery store. I work at 6:30 a.m. on weekdays. I go to bed pretty early now. I'm not going to get laid before I fall asleep. Oh, yeah, and did I forget to mention that on Easter morning they ditched me to go see a movie?

What do you think is going to happen when Spider-Man comes out? Attack of the Clones? My birthday is May First. You know what I want? A season pass to the Springs zoo. A sushi dinner. A date to see Spider-Man. You know what? Wait a month and see what happens.

Did I get laid Saturday night? No. I love my husband, but sometimes...