Today I removed the phrase "rolled his eyes" or similar from Alien Blue seventeen times.
I left references to that monstrous dice game twice:
Miss Dewey scooted the chair back toward the computer. She poked the power button on the monitor, but not fast enough, so I was able to read a few lines: And then Jack said it was an undercover group. The BFI? I asked. But he said no, it was worse, it was the MacTeagues. Well, what does that mean? I asked. He rolled his eyes at me, if he does that one more time, I'm going to-- Then the screen went blank.
...
I closed my eyes and leaned back against the wall. "Yup," I said. "I know exactly how you feel. So what the hell are you wearing a black shirt and jeans for?"It's like using exclamation points. Did I do the right thing? Should I have cut it?
"I wanted to look cool," she said. "For my first day at the dig. I mean, my first day that I'm not actually trespassing."
I rolled my eyes.
Which reminds me...oh, shit. TWO HUNDRED EXCLAMATION POINTS.
And then I almost used another one.
First cut: down to forty-four. Sigh. Second pass: seventeen. Third pass: Nine. Good enough.
Yell: fifty-three uses. Down to six.
Shout: eighteen uses. Down to nine.
Bill cusses a lot.
F-bombs: sixty uses. Down to eleven.
Shit: forty-seven uses. Down to ten.
Damn: one hundred ten uses. Down to twenty.
Hell: seventy-six uses. Down to...oh, forget it.
To be continued.
