I just figured out the Mimi has to narrate her POV - and suddenly the climax sings!
Why do I have my most brilliant moments of inspiration just before a deadline?
Don't answer that.
Wish list:
- Add three horrendous puns.
- Rename the sections after brew stages and somehow work the explanation into the plot.
- Clarify that, indeed, it is Jack who has doomed them all.
- Bring the [hideyhidey] theme in with the Martie/Jack sequence and the early Dinah/Ben sequence.
- Rewrite Mimi's POV scenes.
- Figure out WTF is writing the book itself. I have a nasssty suspicion....
- Last runthrough and spellcheck!!!
Bill Trout had been talking to Nina Nesbitt all afternoon, all evening, gesturing with his hands, making faces, dropping his voice to a whisper, barking laughter out in a shout.And in Mimi's own words (although still in 3rd person; I'm not sure why yet, but it has to be that way):
Mimi stood and watched with a wet bar towel over her shoulder and a couple of beers in her hands.
Bill Trout had been talking to Nina Nesbitt all afternoon, all evening, all night, and he was just throwing his best at her, waving his hands, making faces, dropping his voice to a whisper, and suddenly barking laughter out in a shout, making her jump.Poor, jealous Mimi.
Mimi knew what was going to come next. But she took the memory and stuffed it into a little box, stuffed the box into a goose, and fed the goose to a king at a banquet, so she could stand with a wet bar towel over one shoulder and a couple of beers in her hands and watch Bill tell this stranger, whom she hated for being Bill's daughter instead of just his friend, the story of everything important that had ever happened to them. And she had to miss it, had to, because Bill would never tell the story anywhere Mimi could hear him telling it.