7.07.2002

Snippet: Tofu Cartel!

What with one thing and another (a couple of freshman girls from Miller drove over and bought one of the new tarot decks she'd ordered, not Rider Waite, not Thoth, the one with the cats? No, the Medicine Wheel deck. And the orange juice machine broke during breakfast. An earring down the drain in room fifteen. And she was nearly full up, had been since she'd ordered a couple of Feng Shui kits. Bobby told everyone that that the betassled flutes dangling from their ceiling beam was a gift from his mother. His mother? Polish. Ah, Polish), she didn't check the fax machine until nearly ten a.m.

It was almost like finding a death threat.

BUYING INTO THE HEATLH FOOD CRAZE
DID YOU KNOW BUYING INTO THE DRUG CRAZE TOO
MISTY MOUNTAINS FOODS
MAKER OF "CLOUDS BREATH TOFU"
AND OTHER "HEATLHY LIVING" PRODUCTS
SUCH AS "OCEANS BREATH" SUSHI KITS
AND "FRESH BREATH" ORGANIC FOODS
IS A FRONT FOR A JAPANESE DRUG CARTEL!

And, in even larger letters:

SAVE OUR CHILDREN FROM DRUGS
EAT BEEF

The fine print stated that any persons interested in further information should call The Branding Iron Society of Buffalo County at 605-245-2492.

Guess what brand of tofu Rainbow Krytzpoliski had in the converted soda cooler just inside the office door? Guess who was trying to put her out of business? And ruin her reputation in town? And get her arrested with the cops? And bust up her marriage? And, damn it, crush out every progressive thought in central South Dakota? Who ran the Branding Iron Society of Buffalo County?

Her ex.